What Are You Talking About????

It is 4:30 am. The wood stove has gone cold but I think the room temp is still close to 50. I want to write.

Outside the water drips thick off the back end of the drain spout
The water drips misty in the air beyond the little trough below the eave
It is green and dark brown and dark brown and green
Out there
I can hear the water lightly on the roof right now

I don't know how to write.

The sound picks up some but it is still far away, the rain is only light.

Wheelchair

Once I was walking barefoot toward a bridge and a bee stung me on the foot. I had cleatless bicycle shoes in my hand figuring they'd be good to have on my feet in case I had to run from the police when I go out of the water.

One night I got dropped off by a co-worker at the bus stop, amongst it's snow banks, after my first day on the job. Bus pulls up. I drop down off the curb. Bus driver not only says I can't board the bus because he doesn't have a lift, but also that he can't move the bus until I move my wheelchair... and I'm stuck between the curb and the bus door.

One morning I left Arnott's Lodge and rolled down the road and into Hilo Bay. I wanted to be sure that I started at sea level before pushing my chair to the top of Mauna Kea- 47 miles of road and 2 and 2/3's miles of height away.

Not one or once, but many and much times, and time, I have started writing this odd storey down, thinking it would be interesting and maybe I could make something of this large pile of esoteric effort.

Nearly two decades ago I hurt myself badly by taking a miscalculated risk. I thought about my family, accepted the hardship, and swam toward shore. Today I am simply here. I still reach outward but more and more this outward is stability and consistency. Maybe what I seek is humility and grace and some special kind of strength that I imagine most everybody else already has in abundance.

The Thing That jellifies My Nut

I keep trying to give up giving up- but once you've started you can not continue.

The futility of the feedback loop known as paradox, the orubustical snake who eats its tail for sustenance- eternally- this at once exalts and stupefies me. I don't want to look away; I can not anyway.

I am not writing further now. I will spend my time eating a cheesey rice glop burrito and cherry tomatoes. I will watch something on netflix with stuff blowing up and settle myself. ...but not dogs or horses getting blown up.............

The Making of My World

My body is breaking down

Mistakes are here to haunt me

I clutch at this cliche

Alliteration is all that I am

But what meaning is there in this

What is it that I have

- to say

- to share

- to give to the world

Little bits

Little pebbles

Little pieces

How many pebbles do you have to put

Inside a vast and empty mind

Before they draw and crush together

To form a giant orb

Swiss Tunnel

Outside it is raining. The temperature is probably 32 right now. Tomorrow it's supposed to be more than 40 and keep raining.

We have begun to pack the snow establishing a track around the field. Just a few laps the other day. But six more today. By me in the sitski with extra big baskets on the poles. And Lizzie on the stand up skis. And Missy the dog making sure the path is not too even. So now we have the beginnings of a super-good cross country skiing velodrome.

But it is raining.

But it will get cold again. IF we ski tomorrow and the next day, no matter how slushy: it will freeze again. IF we keep good tracks going, then we can ski on ice! A loop of ice; a path of speeding up; a particle accelerator; a teeny CERN machine!!

The French have a little Statue of Liberty. Why shouldn't the people of Brownfield in the State of Maine have a mini particle accelerator?

Untitled

Orion has arisen.

He is hunting stuff on the right hand side of the sky.

I don't know where his dog Serious is.

The digging away of the snow on the path to the firepit is coming along nicely. The igloo thing over the benches is still mostly just a concept, although the snow pile behind the benches is piled at least 10 inches higher that them and I am mentally preparing to procure the dishpan from which the future igloo bricks will be fashioned.

The 1 cup of lentil beans and the 1 cup of black eyed peas are soaking. After I post this I will get the chisel which Liz used to work her carpentry magic on the new soap and detergent and acoutrement shelving bench thing and I will use it to break the frozen ground moose meat package in half. Then I can keep 1 half frozen and ready the other half for the glop-fest. It is gonna be pretty good and I am psyched.

Just need to get some more chard or other appropriate green. Been eating a good amount of garlic. Frozen peas all set to go with the bacon in the frigerator and a sweet potato from the table between the fridge and the stove for eating stuff tonight.

Plus the fire is going and I think my feet are warm enough and Orion is King Champeen and I'm gonna go do domestic cooking stuff in the kitchen.

I Had a Dream

Was it May 21st, 1991?

I got myself paralyzed 18 or so years ago. Hit the water wrong jumping from too high up. Spent two weeks in intensive care at the Elvis Presley trauma unit. Then I spent like thirteen more at the Baptist Memorial Hospital rehabilitation unit.

Came out pretty clean. Being in a wheelchair really isn't that bad- especially in comparison to the sneezey runny nose I had two weeks ago. Or all the coughing and gagging of the following week. Again, paraplegia isn't really all that bad- but having a proper cold is not for the faint of heart.

Anyway, now that I've acted all tough and such- let's get down to serious matters.

I think it was two nights ago. Or two mornings ago actually. I remember dreams from the morning much more often.

So I got paralyzed 18 years back. Ever since then I've been wondering when I might see a wheelchair in a dream. I've had dreams where I'm kind of lame but walk with a cane or something. I've had dreams where I ride on horseback instead of walking. I've had dreams where I sort of fly around unaffected by gravity.

All these alternative means of transport which show that my inner me knows that something's going on, but never any wheelchair. Heck, sometimes my dreams have me just sitting around and not bothering to get up and do stuff for myself.

Ultimately, I remember waking up in the early morning two days ago and rolling over feeling happy and comfortable. When I thought about why I was happy and comfortable as I settled back to sleeping, I noticed I didn't know and said to me to relax and try to remember.

Then it hit me, not so much hit me but touched me. I hadn't dreamt of seeing the wheelchair but I knew I was using one. It was my bedroom, well my dream bedroom. There was a garden in it with the bed on the far side. There were little trees in little rings of stones with gravel in a sort of Zen garden style. There was a kind of uneven flagstone or cut and broken stone path down the one side.

I pictured myself at the bed end of all this and could readily picture myself having traveled down tho stone path on the side. Then I was at the other side away from the bed looking at the path through the little trees and their containing circles. I was thinking that I was unsure the wheelchair would fit along this path without messing up the circles. And earlier I was thinking about how I had to do wheelies and raise the casters to use the uneven stone path.

Next to my consciousness or subconsciousness or whatever was the realisation that I don't see the wheelchair because I am me and I am sitting in the wheelchair looking at stuff and doing stuff and it's the inviting bed and vital garden which draw my attention.

Kind of watershed. Been wondering for a while when it would happen. I remember though, at the moment I was thinking- why do I feel so happy right now, why am I not complaining to myself about waking up super early and semi-uncomfortable.

Somehow I relaxed the right way to let the memory return and now luckily I have found and taken the time to write it down.

Do Stars Exist?

When was it? A week ago, two weeks ago... I saw the stars- or did the stars see me? They looked right through me. I was moved, very moved. I can still taste it, or something like that- like it was yesterday, or a moment ago or what ever.

I was outside in the early evening rolling around. There were these three stars sort of sticking out. I knew they weren't the handle of the Big Dipper, but then a half hour later I knew they were the handle of the Big Dipper and I could see the pointer stars at the end of the bowl directing toward the North Star. And then I could see the Little Dipper. I don't see the Little Dipper that often and I could clearly remember back a few years to when I learned to recognise it.

Later in the night I was back outside hoping to see some meteors. In the dark I rolled down the driveway toward the road. As I approached I could see a giant inky sky with many chunks of miniature dazzle. And I'm thinking those things are actually bigger than me- bigger than the whole planet I'm standing on. In front of the sky were the trees across the road from our driveway. They were spectacular. I had no idea. A veil before the sky, a wonderful sketch of double darkness framing and supporting the beauty above and beyond.

That's what I'm talkin' about-- that's why I live here, in the woods, miles away from all jobs, with a rusty Ford Escort sucking up the non-existent dollars. Sometimes things are perceived in such a manner that you are comforted by the fact that you are a small part of something much bigger than yourself and simultaneously you are exhilarated to sense the global significance of being part of it all. I didn't say it right- I mean being both smaller and bigger than yourself at once. Anyway, there I was drinking in the sky and it sounded just perfect. Plus the meteors smelled like ice.

And then Liz lent me her glasses. I just got my eyes checked and bought new glasses, but hers beat the heck out of mine. (I gotta have somebody check this prose, I don't know, is it lame or okay?) So her specks throw a good 'nother round or two of clarity on the sky which is already personal and meaningful and solemn. How come my glasses don't work this good? Orion's Bow is so there. So many stars. I'm part of this. I'm crying. I'm small and I'm big all at once.

Gratitude

When you've got so much to say it's called gratitude.

Well that was the Beastie Boys, years ago. I've always thought the idea is super true. What is prayer? What is existence? How is it that I am here typing and not only thinking that I exist but thinking probably you do also???

So for starters a chicken evacuated chicken feces from its chicken buttocks onto my human being head a half hour ago. Not a big deal, right? We've had the chickens roosting in the front porch rafters for years. I'm bound to catch some chicken poo from time to time. And yeah, gee, I have. But it's mostly the firm sort that bounces off and you cleverly smile to yourself, thinking about your unspoken invincible nature.

Tonight the poo hit me well enough that some fell behind my glasses. Of course I was exhilarated and feeling blessed and all, but the bigger picture is this:

Not only was there still wet white poo left in my hair when I went into the bathroom; but there was brand new shampoo. Last night Liz and I stopped at the Rite Aid for supplies. Amongst other things we bought shampoo and conditioner. Buy-one-get-one-free you know. So I wound up recently washing my hair. And don't you know, right there was a bottle of Herbal Essences hydralicious (tm) shampoo and a bottle of Herbal Essences mandarin balm (tm) smoothing conditioner. Gee but do I feel pretty clean and goodly looked after at the moment. I mean like swimmingly so.

Lucky the chicken caught me square and proper.

Mountain Fortress

The temperature here in Brownfield is seven.

So the temperature in Stow is probably 2.

Sometimes it does become the time to just put up or shut up.

I am putting up.

Regarding Desire

I feel like life is hitting me in the face and filling me up. I am not fed up. I am not hurt. There is no violence here. There is only knowledge that this is right and this is enough and this is beautiful. I am not satisfied, yet I am. What more could there really be? I am mixing wood glue and flour and water and making a box. I have just been shown a brand new chicken egg. The tops of the pine trees are wavering back and forth and to and fro in a magical and unminding way. Sure I could be a little warmer and this and that and many other things could be better in so many ways. But then couldn't they also be worse? Maybe actually things can only be as they are. I just heard a radio piece featuring a few different versions of Bach's Goldberg Variations. Earlier I heard a piece about something called the Gospel of Inclusion.

Why is it that sometimes everything just sort of strikes you with a sense of being here? Sometimes things just plain make sense, even with all the senselessness and inadequacy and further desire. Sometimes wanting and trying and pushing isn't so much because of lack but simply because of being. Right now..., well gee- just right now. Right now questions are more like facts.Right now longing is the same as having.

I don't know how to say this. I don't know what I feel. I am here and here is in me. I feel grateful. It sounds crazy but the trees are in me as are the chickens and stars and the moon. They are all in me. I have glue on my hands and the wood stove is warming the room.

Right now I have written a little bit. I will work more on my box and I will make some small push to better organise tools and clothes and art projects and gear and stuff. Maybe later I will even wash my hands.

Five of Three of Three of Three

What I mean to say is 135 days.
Those who know me know that I mean that it has been 135 days since posting. I'd wanted to start posting steadily again but I have not.

I have managed to work steadily for almost four months. Not quite sure if I worked the first few days of May. And August hasn't yet ended so almost four months. Teaching math at a local alternative school- it's been a wonderful opportunity.

A kind gentleman from Minnesota... . The past few years I have had the excellent opportunity to spend brief time in the company of a man, who like my own father, was able to help me understand what it means to be a man. Like my own father, this man gave me insight into what it is that I aspire toward. I can not thank him personally, but I can thank his family. I can thank friends who have allowed me the chance to meet this man and gain some measure of what it is to actually do things.

Today I did twenty pull-ups. I will do more.

_Seven___x ___Seven__=__Forty_Nine_

Okay so seven weeks is forty nine days without again posting to this blog I think I mean to be posting to at least every week or so but you know probably like twice a week and with pictures sometimes and update the other blogs and get my life in order and update and post my resume and stuff like that.

Well anyway it is not like it is fifty days without posting and that is because usually it is conventional to round things off because we don't want to get to caught up in details which are often just tangents and so forty nine is basically the same as fifty (at least for blogument's sake) so let's just say it isn't like I haven't posted for fifty days because I haven't posted for fifty days and so the one thing isn't like the other because they are basically the same thing and so there isn't really a second thing to compare to a first thing and so .........

Do I sound enough like someone who has more or less lost the plot?

Gee, maybe it is the case that I can't sound LIKE someone who has lost the plot because I am someone who has lost the plot and there again we don't have the opportunity for comparison since we only have a single thing for doing the comparing with.


Alright, there is definitely a woodpecker in the wall to my left.

Also definite is the spring cleaning activity and the switching from wintertime to springtime recreation activity and the getting from half done to a bit more than half done on some of the ongoing projects activity and plus we have disc three of season two of Prison Break and we are psyched.

Finally at the moment-

I am participating soon in a mentoring training session soon regarding recreation and athleticism for people with disability concerns.

And I got two buds, guys a decade and a half or so younger than me, and busted a number of inches higher up the old vertebral column, willing to try getting up North Conway's Cathedral Ledge in about a month.

Yeah, and I got all the plaster dust and wood shavings off the floor- except that now there is plaster crumbs and chunks on the floor and I'm hoping to get more wood shavings on the floor super soon.

Hopefully it doesn't sound additionally freaky to reference the following two phrases:

God willing

In the name of God

Today Is Monday

Writing to write in order that something be written.

Woe is me; plus I have a really hard life.

No really- life is good and I'm cruising in comfort.

What the gee am I trying to say?

So I did the lift line at Bear Peak yesterday. That means Liz and I slowly picked our way down a sort of steep and narrow trail with decent size bumps but pretty fair padding on the bumps. And that means it wasn't really all that as far as death and destruction goes but it was kind of odd and required attention to keep from looking foolish, but it wasn't scary.

I like doing weird lift line runs at the ski slopes and I'm happy with myself because finally I have had enough practice this season so that I can give these runs a shot without fear of appearing too terribly inept and overly victimised by bad judgment.

So that's all well and good but I broke the valve off the oil/gas shock absorber beneath my ski rig and now I gotta get it fixed. And that's all well and good except that the people in California who make the shock absorbers aren't answering the phone in the repair section even though I'm calling their front office and already spending long distance money.

All this is all well and good and other nice stuff also except that the shock absorber broke because I put a new spring around it and reinstalled the whole thing on the ski rig frame but had the valve facing out instead of in underneath the other piece that protects it. And now the valve is busted off and all the oil/gas stuff is drained out of the shock absorber..

So now the ski rig doesn't work right and it's all my fault. It's one thing if you do daring and stupidish type stuff and then you get tagged. But getting tagged for simple lack of attention to detail... . It makes me feel almost human, almost normal.

Okay then, onward and upward.

Case In Point

So I get the shoes on, head outside and start digging out the car.

It gets past noon and I'm thinking I'll still get a bunch of hours of skiing in.

It gets past 1PM and the car is moved maybe five feet so far. I'm thinking I'll still get a few hours of skiing in.

It gets past 3PM and the car is moved maybe eight feet. I'm in between thinking and not thinking.

It gets past 4PM and I'm starting to think that maybe I'm pretending to myself that I will get the car out.

It reaches approximately 4:44 and the snow plow guy shows up and smiles and starts pushing on the car.

I made it to the video store well before 6.

Ten More Days

Writing to write as the story goes.
Skiing to ski as the body knows.

Last winter, by the end of the season, my right elbow was a bit messed up. This winter I am conscious of needing to keep stress down. I am trying to lean on my arms less. Also I keep in mind ideas of shorter sessions and rest days. So then what is the difference between being half hearted and being wise? I think it depends mostly on one's mood and one's interest in self criticism.

Skiing is going well but I'm always thinking I should be getting more of it in. I'm getting a fair amount of both downhill and crosscountry. My right elbow gets a little sore but not scarey sore like I better just give it all up. Been getting good cardio workouts with the cross country and improving my balance. Fiddling with uphill and off-the-beaten-track skiing. This is challenging and interesting. My big accomplishment with downhill is learning to link turns on steep loose snow and not stop and fall over quite as much. Plus my elbow is pretty okay at the moment.

It's 10:44 in the morning. I don't even have shoes on and my car is covered with snow. I'm sitting at the computer and some section of my head is saying I out to be sitting at the top of a big and steep and partly stress inducing ski hill. There is something to anxiety and there is something to managing ambition and goal achievement. It is just a dance, an ongoing shuffle, a fairly constant swaying and stepping and leaning and pausing and ... well you get the idea.

So there is probably over a month to go. There are more than enough beautiful trails and plenty of good people. Time to get the shoes on, make a move, and take it for what it is.

Yo, What Up: Hiram and the Lift Line

On Sunday I discovered another benefit of being over forty. Being placed in the old-people's-division in the Diana Golden race series, my time in the slalom gained me a bronze medal. At first I figured there were only three entries. Turns out there were actually four. How's that for speediness.

The one problem was that I'd forgotten my ski so Erik loaned me a race ski a bit stiffer than the one he's already loaned me and also with a bit wider turning radius. After the awards presentation Liz and I went with Aaron from Attitash to Bear Peak, next mountain over. This was all well and good till I started down the lift line directly below the summit. It was ungroomed and my turns were sluggish so I ended up taking a number of light falls and winding up places I hadn't meant to go more often than expected and saying sorry and thank you far more often than desired.

On Monday we went to King Pine and I had the ski I'm used to using and it was a dream to turn since I'd worked so hard the day before turning the other ski that turning this one today felt super pretty okay. The lift line on the back side of King Pine is more technical than what I'd been floundering through the day before. But I did it- all afternoon long I went where I wanted and stopped when I wanted and it all worked well.

On Tuesday it turned out to be raining in Bedford. Liz and I were relieved of our two and a half hour commute for the adaptive cross country skiing group. We had extra preparation time and then we made our way across the field and through the woods and onto the railway bed. There are no trains these days but there are snowmobiles packing the snow that covers the tracks. Smooth sailing with a touch of ruggedness and loads of views and plenty of distance. We got as far as Route 113 which is a busy enough road that there is no snow on it and there is a good enough supply of traffic that we didn't want to try and cross. So we didn't make it to Hiram but we made the solid effort and got back at dark instead of two hours after.

So winter is finally starting to gel. The downhill is getting interesting and expressive. The cross country is getting lengthy and cardiovascular.

29 Days Later, I Guess I Can't Trust Me, Skiing

Well finally early in the month me and Liz started making it to Attitash to do downhill skiing. Soon after I borrowed a cross country sit-ski rig and got going on that as well.

So the ideal idea is to do both downhill and cross country in the same day. You know, not too terribly much of either and different muscle groups so it's the whole cool and up to date cross-training concept.

Yeah right! It's all I can do to not watch a second video and roll out of bed by 10 or so the next day. Gee whiz, you know. Is this blog only about airing my dirty laundry or what?

It used to be, back in the day, when I was I actually was cool, and plus I was young- that my dirty laundry was pushing up too many hills and getting too caught up in muscle performance and recovery. Well this is the new Sean O'Neill, well the new Sean O'Neill who is old and not hip and not uncivilised and super domesticated and basically the same as ever except........

Oh come on.
Years ago I started saying that my New Years Resolution was not to make New Years resolutions anymore. Now it sounds like I'm worrying about slacking off on resolutions that possibly I actually did make.

Maybe I'm moving too fast for you to follow my line of thought.
I have the chance right now to be working slowly at making things better.
It's kind of a big responsibility and it gets sort of irritating when stuff doesn't work out easy-peasy

Maybe I'm being too vague for you to have any notion what I'm meaning.
It is 8 or 10 miles along the railroad tracks from Brownfield to Hiram.
I want to do the round trip on the sitski, soon.
Erik is jumping off stuff already and I'm still sketched.
I want to downhill ski more often and be somewhat expressive doing so.

Ten Days Later, Maybe I Can Trust me, Women's Liberation, Please Don't Do Cussing Stuff

So yeah, "New Year" and all. Big Gosh and Gully, huh?.......

So the start of a new month and among her people the tradition is to say "rabbits and hares" as the first thing you say on the first day of the month.

I peaked my head from under the covers. The fire was already going, the room was fairly warm. She said it to me: Rabbits and Hares. I whispered it back. So it was the first thing I said on the first day of the first month of an entirely different year from the year when I had learned of this tradition of her people.

Then later during coffee, I asked and discovered that she hadn't spoken since waking. She was dressed, the fire was warm, coffee was ready. That takes a while.

That was this morning.
This evening I realised that since the elemental symbol for iron is Fe, then Ironman is Female. Oh my gosh............

One Day Later, Can I Trust Me, Will It Last, Still No Cussing Please

At the moment I just would like to say to the world that I had a feeling.

I put on my left shoe.
I am a paraplegic and have very limited feeling in my lower extremities.
I'm living in the woods in Maine.
The temperature inside before the fire gets stoked isn't all that much greater than the temperature outside.
There is over a foot of snow outside.
I guess the temp inside is more than not that much greater than the temp outside because it is more than 35 inside right now and less than 20 outside, but then the fire is going now. Come to think of it, it never really does get much at all below freezing inside even in the morning but it gets like zero and even less outside so gee- I mean go figure, you know(?).

Anyway, the point of all this is that I put my left shoe on.
Well not that I put my left shoe on but that when I did put my left shoe on I felt a feeling of coldness in my foot, in my left foot. That's where I put the shoe.

Actually it's a sneaker, but my foot felt cold. I don't know if I've had that feeling in the past 16 years. Maybe occasionally while stretching my feet I've noticed dim sensation. But a feeling like coldness?? Now, sixteen years in?

Sometimes gifts are funny things.
But still they are gifts.

Roughly 3 and 2/3's, no cussing please

Alright then- I haven't been bloggin much at all since things got thick back in March or so.

The year is ending. It is at or about the winter solstice. It is around when people are trying to end the year's work and begin the work of the coming year.

I am writing here, simply so that something will be written here.

My wood projects are incomplete.
My papier mache' projects are incomplete.
The mallet series has still not been finalised and presented.
The number drawings are wondering where I have been.
The lap-top and the cameras are a mish-mash of mish-mash-ableness.

In other words I am quite grateful for all that has come my way this year and I am confident that I have done my best with all the wonderful opportunities which have arisen.

Thank you to everyone who has shown me kindness and/or otherwise participated in my life.

Enjoy the Big Dark. For the next six months it's just more and more light.

Best wishes.

Hello

Hello anybody who is reading.

Three months or so ago I last made entry here on Blogspot.

It is time to try again.

Rabbits and hares!

On the Boards Is the Man They Call the Mario

So Liz and I graduated from South shore beginner surf to North shore proper surf. We went yesterday to a beach caled Ho'okipa.

As we got ready to enter the water a kind gentleman by the name of Mario offered assistance. He was surfing with a group of kids. It looked like maybe a couple of his own and a few of their friends. You know- 10 year olds and maybe 12 year olds.

So we all start into the water. The wind is howling, the waves are way bigger than anything I'd ever touched, water is spraying all around like a sizeable windy downpour- except that it was sunny out. I get a little disoriented and paddle about twice as far out as everybody else. I look back, and there in the midst of what to me appears to be a maelstrom, is Liz waiting for me. I'd seen her get a bit unnerved in the larger beginner surf on the South side but here when keeping together was a bit more important she was a calm and collected leader (of lost sheep like me). So I start back in toward her. Together we get blown across past the surfer surf into the giant white wash piles near where the sailboarders are doing their thing. We paddle and paddle and eventually get back to where we should have stayed. Liz is calm and smiling and checking on me the whole time. When it mattered she got down to business.

So anyway we are back in the surfer surf and the kids are all smiles and comfort and fun. I didn't notice gills, but I didn't notice Pennsylvania license plates on their boards either. Mario paddles over to me and directs me to follow him out and then into what he calls the Power Zone. To me it looked like an ideal place for one of those harness-natural-energy generators. Well he gets me out into that stuff and soon I am riding a couple footbal fields distance back to shore. And then back out to the power zone and some flips and cartwheels and breath holding and a few more sweet rides as well. None nearly as adroit as the kids, but then I'm a beginner.

Calm and collected Liz- she didn't quite get standing rides but she got to her feet a number of times. She got spun and thrown and cartwheeled and generally over her fear of smaller surf. She did great.

As for me, after a bit of a breather I went back out. Mario had to get the kids back home so I was solo. I now knew how to paddle out and where to paddle out to. I get back out to the Power Zone and there must have been three dozen adolescents paddling out and riding in and generally looking about the same as they might at any other after school get-together - laughing and smiling and living it up.

So there I was struggling some and feeling courageous some. And there were the polite young surfer girls saying "Hi, did you catch any yet?" and the adventurous surfer boys screaming past me speedily as I missed break after break, and the fun loving surfer kids in general who simply dove down a bit as I eventually did catch more waves and tentatively moved toward them- always to pop back up on my other side with a beaming smile.


We made it to the North Shore.

Today it is the tourist excursion to Hana and its lush surroundings.

More Later

Hello to the anonymous and also the named.

Just finished a week of camping near Lahaina and now back in Makawao where there is internet access at the lodging location.

Been experimenting with adaptive surfing. Been building a kind of kneel upon saddle which we've been duck taping to the surf board. Rebroke the giant soft top long board three days ago and now I'm on another soft top which is two feet shorter. It is pretty squirelly and I occasionally fall off in flat water. It is also lighter and more responsive so I am beginng to learn to steer when I actually do get on a wave. Friday was pretty exciting. I didn't smash into the jetty and I did catch a couple big waves and I also managed to steer away from the jetty for the most part. I think the next step will be to move the saddle about two inches forward and that should make the board stick to the wave better for a smooth start.

Anyway it is off to the ATM to get rent money and then off to Kahalui for a computer cable and then Haiku to speak with Gramps at Rock and Chair Ding Repair and maybe with luck finally to some surf on the North Shore, possibly Ho'okipa. Probably I am being far overly optimistic as it is already going on 3PM.

More news and hopefully a few Kinetic pics later tonight.

Changes and Samenesses

I don't understand grammar all that well. I've had people tell me I don't understand spelling all that well either.

People have differences. People have agreements.

Individuals find things that change in there lives. Some of these things bring comfort or even elation. Other of these things bring sadness or even acute distress. Sometimes these things are the same things.

We also find things in our lives which remain the same. Likewise it is with change. Sometimes having things not change is good or even very good. Also sometimes having things remain as they are can motivate stress and dispair.



I pushed my wheelchair up from the Pac ific Ocean to ten miles below the highest point on the island of Maui. The distance traveled was about thirty miles. The height gain was about 7500 feet. The time elapsed was around 21 hours.

Three good people traveled with me. These people did there utmost to help me get as close as I could to the top of the hill. They took turns walking with me. Maybe the company during the push was the most important part. No, definitely for me the best part of this push was the intermixed company of the three wonderful individuals who took turns sharing there presence with me as I did my best to work toward the summit of Haleakala.

Last summer I learned that sometimes it is useful, well practical, gosh it can be life threateningly important- to realise that the summit, in a certain vital sense, isn't so much an absolute spatial thing but simply the place from where you begin your return.

Is the return a return toward comfort and safety? How are change and sameness linked to comfort and elation and distress and sadness and even safety and fear?

Thank you to those who read this blog. Thank you to those who comment about this blog. Thank you so much to those who help me live my life and work my way through it all with some grace, a few smiles, and an occasional blog entry.

Posting

Okay, the airplane ticket problems were worked out by the kind woman at the check-in desk at the Boston airport. Al that time on hold with the CheapTickets people and no headway, but ultimately, mercifully, at the last chance it all worked out fine.

So here I am in Makawao, in Maui, planning to start up Haleakala in about six hours. I've got strong support from two people who are very important to me.

The blog has had strong support from another person who is important to me.

I appologise for my absence this past five weeks or so. Things have been somewhat overwhelming in a few different ways. I have been distracted, mentally, emotionaly, and physically also.

The ski season finished iup well. The last run down the lift line at Wildcat was worth all the hard work and experimentaion of the preceeding months.

Now I am trying out surfing experimentation. I have tumbled off the board and climbed back on. I have scrapes on the sides of my knees and a bit on my face from the surface of the surf board. I have a bit of sunburn, just a bit.

Tomorrow though, well in just about six hours, I think I'm gonna get in the water off Hoburn Street and then start up toward a point 10,000 feet higher. I'll mostly be traveling on Haleakala Highway. We'll see how it goes.


----posted by Seanonymous

Holding

So I'm on the phone calling the internet airplane ticket facilitator with which I set up tickets for two. Turns out the first leg has us on two separate planes. How do you spell Pacobell? The telephone hold music is okay. It doesn't really decrease my patience too dramatically. This will all work out, right.....

Okay, I spoke briefly with a human but now I'm listening to the same Pacobell loop again.

What else?

I've been skiing, mostly downhill with a bit of Cross country thrown in. I did get pulled up and then lowered down along the trail to Mount Willard by my favorite snowshoer just this past Monday. And yes, the trails are much easier with a foot or two of snow smoothing things out over the rocks.

I broke a ski. Well, I broke a downhill ski and also a cross country ski. The latter happened slipping off a trail in Idaho a month ago. The former happened not quite a week ago overshooting and drastically underrotating in a terrain park at Attitash here in New Hampshire.

What else? I've seen snow melt. I've seen snow fall and I've seen snow pile up and I've seen snow go from being twenty inches deep to to twelve inches deep to six inches deep and back to eighteen inches deep.

It is kinda meaningless and inane sounding but snow sinking down is pretty neat. One really beautiful part is the snow falling off the trees the day after the snow fall. It was warm and so snow melted some and fell from the trees to the ground. By the second day after the snow fall, the once soft and mostly featureless whitenss was a bit like what we imagine the moon to be like- all full of craters and holes from stuff falling from the cosmos into the ancient dust. Then more days pass and the snow fall is older and older and then finally I go out onto the porch and look out at thye snow and there are very many white round objects sittin on the surface where recently there were holes. These are the blobs of snow that fell from the pine branches. The snow around the where they buried themselves has now melted or settled or sublimated or in whet ever way gone away and left these once cloud-bound and then tree-bound and finally below-the surface-of-the-snow-bound objects exposed.

Burt then they melted. And now there is another foot of snow above here thet had sat.

Pacobell????? I'm hanging up.

Trying To Try: T to the third power

Okay, hi, yeah, um... sure- it's Saturday February 24. The year is 2007.

That's a start, huh? ... .

Right, so gee, gee golly, gosh you know. here I am on the earth living life and just chock full of all the potential, well most of the potential- that I ever really expect to have for all of eternity. Not to be morbid or silly but this really is as good as it gets and gee but why aren't more heroic sagas occurring? Why is everything a step or two away from not being a step or two away from nothing?

What is up with the antFarm where I am not?

What is up with me not being higher up than like 750 feet of altitude?

When am I going to be a real and actual ski-bum and get my bum skiing now? And then? And yesterday? And tomorrow?

And what is up with being moody and irritated and normal and regular and honest and trustworthy and loyal and friendly... and stuff like that?

Well, so I am in a bit of a funk and traveling is somewhat time consuming and I wish I didn't wish for stuff and oh I hope you aren't terribly bored with me and, and, and ......

Okay, so everything is awesome and it all is gonna be alright and it is actually super peachy right now and everything is okay.

But still, what is this funk and why do I like"and" so much and



So things are okay. I did discover while in Sun valley Idaho that chocolate milk is endorsed by the United States Olympic Comittee as a recovery drink. That means it is good for drinking soon after exercise to aid in the lessening of muscle breakdown andf the quickening of muscle repair. Plus I learned that sit-down crosscountry skiing is the best aerobic activity I have known since I started wheelchairing.

Plus I went to dinner with family last Sunday and the table was like twenty feet long or something, maybe thirty feet.

And I'm here in North Conway, in the Mount Washington Valley, writing, well typing.

I have things I'd like to push more quickly. There are projects I'd like to be further along with. I'm not really certain if I am over extended or it is simply winter or maybe even everything is perfect and I just get restless.

Repression -vs- Accession

okay---- time to start again, ..........

time to say thank you to Anonymous for commentary

time to try again to turn comment moderation back off because it appears to create more trouble than it fixes

time to get more posting on here instead of being so between things

time to put this into the blog instead of just leaving it here in comments

time to highlight and copy ............

Rabbits and Hares

The first thing I heard anybody say this morning was "rabbits and hares". Next I heard it said that if one says first upon waking on the first of the month the phrase "rabbits and hares", it will be an auspicious and lucky month.

I had been laying quietly for some time with my eyes opening only occasionally. For the most part, I'd stayed still with my eyes closed and my consciosness not very far from the pre-waking dream state. Now I had opened my eyes and begun to focus consciously on the words being said as well as the kind eyes of the individual saying the words.

Again I closed my eyes but retained my waking conciousness. I said "rabbits and hares". And then I opened my eyes again and looked once more at those eyes.

Sunday I leave New Hampshire and travel by way of Denver and Salt Lake City so that I may arrive at Sun Valley in Idaho. I am going there to explore the activity of adaptive cross country skiing. I am going there to spend time with recognised disabled athletes and to experience the milieu, the physical and social setting, of adaptive recreation amongst leaders in the field.

And plus it's gonna be in a very cold and very beautiful place. And it's gonna be fun. And auspicious. And I'm lucky to have this opportunity.

At the Moment

At the moment I am thinking of stopping and heading accross the street and settling down with locals and watching a game.

I'm thinking I won't be thinking "Go Eagles" or "E - A - G - L - E - S". I don't know if I'll be cheering the New England Patriots, but I've heard they are the underdogs and I usually am more interested in the uderdog. Plus I'm in New England, and I like being here.

I've been told it isn't too late to join the amerature race series at the local hill, Cranmore Mountain, so I will be among Wednesday's race results.

There are three new picture postings in the picture blogs, Art Things and Kinetics. One is new number pictures. Another is some pre-Christmas skiing. The last is the latest in alternative exercise- wood smithing.

Again We Begin Again, Again

Finishing off the previous year-

Yes, there was more stuffing; and what's more, the second helping surpassed the first. Possibly the special treat of Christmas Day ... well, except for the presents and the food and the wonderful people and the smiles and the general sense of well being, oh, and the goodness of it all and plus the great evening of the Eve and those events and especially the special company and both the personal and the group/public experience at the Christmas Eve service and of course the food and company then and also the late night fun of wrapping the presents and getting everything in order and gee I guess waking up on Chrismas morning was pretty good too ... well except for that stuff maybe the highlight of Christmas day was the outdoor medicine ball toss. I didn't know you could get such a good workout just having a catch with people. Also I didn't know I'd be able to have fun and throw the thing and not fall over backward catching it. Yes, that was a fun and slightly rediculous activity. It sure brought a smile to my face and I think the other participants and even the onlookers were smiling also. Plus it was strenuous and fun.

Starting off the new year-

Well gosh it was actually the second to the last day of last year but it is still pretty fresh. Oh, alright, the last big thing of last year was a slide show of my adventures at a climbing store in North Conway, New Hampshire, called International Mountain Equipment, IME for short. It came off pretty well although the three or four days leading up were sort of increasingly nerve wracking right down to when I started talking that night. Then, 50 minutes later when I was done and next took a moment of personal reflection, I realised everything was okay.

Two weeks minus two days from now I will do another slide show at Villanova University outside Philadelphia in Pennsylvania. I'm looking forward to this as opportunity. Opportunity to share my stories. Opportunity to share positivity. Possibly even opportunity to inspire. And also opportunity to enhance my non-existant career.

What else for the year-

More blogging, hopefully regularly.

More hills, likely some big ones. I have plans to continue with the paved road one day things and other plans also. Maybe I will try unassisted camping along paved trail or road. Definitely I will continue the experimentation with assisted trail hiking. There will be a back country camp out at Clouds Rest in Yosemite.

A couple cliffs, well, at least one cliff and maybe a couple different ways up. I'd like to enhance my climbing system and also my climbing knowledge first so that other team members will be freer for other tasks.

Gee, I guess the year is supposed to be about continuing to do my best for myself and for others as I am able.

I'd like to get back to the antFarm. I'd like to continue to improve my diet. I'd like to do a number of things to increase my independence and my overall security. Some of my plans will succeed. Some may fall short. The important thing will be to continue to try to sustain or improve. Flexibility and fairness and some sense of a bigger picture and who and what are really important to me- these will be key.

Good luck with it everybody......

Art Things

There are new pictures in the Artthings web log. They are things I've worked on while resting and stepping away from wood chopping.

Last week I was assisted to the top of a very large boulder called Jockey Cap. That might be about it for this season. The trip up and then down was pretty good. Liz and I doing the tether over the hard parts. We are getting pretty good at it. We went back down with the tether also. My wheelchair facing backward, it was sort of a belay technique. It worked quite well. Only an hour up and an hour down. While the hike is not that challenging for adults and even young children on legs, I thought it might take over two hours for us just to get up. The head lamp and extra layer never came into use.

Again I was reminded what it might be like to go out exploring without the wheelchair increasing the challenge. Again I was reminded that gems are not always beyond reach. Again teamwork fostered both connection and freedom.

The camera battery bonked not far above the start. I'd like to go back and get some pictures of the rock and the adaptive hiking techniques we are developing. I'd like to get pictures of a number of things, so maybe the season isn't really so over.

Swimming for exercise has entered the game. I just bought goggles yesterday. Skiing is coming up also. I bought a helmet months ago. And then there is the more sedentary activity of driving. I seem to have bought a car. Maybe I will be driving: to the pool; to the slopes; to the writing and blogging shop, to the papier mache` shop, the number drawing shop and maybe even the metal shop.

Hey Everybody, Come Check Out My Pictures

The Basin in Franconia Notch, New Hampshire

Mount Minsi at the Pennsylvania side of the Delaware Water Gap

Dingmans Falls in the Poconos above the Delaware Water Gap in Pennsylvania

Bushkill Falls in the Poconos above the Delaware Water Gap in Pennsylvania


Vernal Falls above the Yosemite Valley in Yosemite National Park in California

the Zodiac Route on El Capitan in Yosemite National Park in California which meant over 1700 pull-ups in under 27 hours

Mauna Kea which eventually tops out at 13,700 feet in Hawai'i

Some pictures briefly recapping events in the Mount Washington Valley in New Hampshire

All Terrain

Two Saturdays ago terrain was a heavy metal band called Terrain, a very heavy metal band called Terrain. These were boys (men) from Lennon's in Upper Darby, PA. They were performing at the Rusty Nail in Havertown, PA. The landscape of their sound, though quite loud and dramatic, was varied and interesting to me.

Three days later it was a change of terrain via flight to Manchester, NH, and then the smooth terrain of the paved path to a geological feature called the Basin. That was a Tuesday.

Two days later terrain meant the terrain of new people and a seat at their Thanksgiving Dinner table. Today I realised that I am suffering from post traumatic shock in the form of a latent desire for more stuffing- more stuffing now and more stuffing soon after I finish the helping of stuffing I haven't even got in front of me. I'm told that by Christmas Day I will have the opportunity for more stuffing.

Since that most excellent Thanksgiving meal terrain has been other things also.

It has been dreamscape. It has been the terrain of images and moods which are the dreams I remember after waking. It has been the textures and metaphors of dreams described to me by some one close.

And then their are the dreams which are plans made but not yet met. Things in the future, goals, things made of hope and vision. Is this terrain the scape of fantasy or calendar or is there a such thing as a pragmatism which dreams but also approaches those real things of which the dreams are pre-thought reflections? I have been making plans toward the next year or so for a few months now, but I am at this point within the terrain where once future plans are present behaviors and actions.

I am in the terrain of the Mount Washington Valley. I am in hope. I am in creativity and I am in nurturing and kindness and like-mindedness and goodness and growth.

I am not in Minnesota at the antFarm where the terrain is quite similar to the heart and soul but somewhat different to the eye. I am not back home in East Lansdowne from where all things for me have come, from where I have embarked out onto the terrain of my existence. What I am not is not, yet still it is. It all is, for I am here where I am and all those things which I have seen and felt and done and desired are me and I am grounded in and flying above this terrain which is my me.

Rock and Roll

Tuesday was Bushkill Falls.
Wednesday was raindrops and cribbage.
Thursday was Dingman Falls.
Friday was Mount Minsi via the Appalachian Trail.

Tuesday was 1267 steps and two free t-shirts.

Wednesday was 5 geese floating happily down the Delaware River and 20 inches of 8 by 8 burnt half way through late that night.

Thursday there were 248 steps. On the way up 214 gained height and 34 gave it back away. Late that night there were stars and the moon.

Finally there was Friday. Friday started at 10:40 AM and ended at 10:36 PM. There were no steps and no geese and no fire and we didn't get free t-shirts for having completed the route. There were many rocks to get past. There was a challenging stream to cross. 6:56 had us at the top of Mount Minsi looking down into the darkness of the Delaware Water Gap. There was a fire-road available for descent. This meant it was possible to make way downward in the dark. At the tail end we had Orion and then moonlight as well.

There were rhododendrons and hemlock and water falls and rocks, many rocks, and lichen and moss and ferns.

I did all this in a wheelchair, well sometimes not even in it but just scrambling over top of things. The point though is that I did it, I did it at all. I was in my home state doing stuff and seeing things just like or maybe even twice as good as I'd done in younger days on working legs.

Team work, team work and technique and trust and patience. Over the course of the week these were developed and on Friday a very difficult goal was accomplished. It occurred safely, without excessive risk. It occurred with laughter and courage and joy. It occurred.

How to Ever Say It

I look to the world as it turns it back on me
I look to life as it laughs at me

And then I contemplate largeness and smallness
And wholeness and partness
And impossible and definite
And chaos and common
And attained and ungraspable

For a time I am still and quiet and without concern
Nothing is missing and beauty abounds

Still there are grant proposals unwritten and connections uncontacted
Applications unopened and pieces out of place

I have bags to unpack, things to move about, trash and trivia to discard
My bed is unmade and my teeth are unbrushed

Yet now I have had consolation
I have thought about e

e is simplicity and e is also paradox
e is a mathematical constant like pi
for me e is something else as well


So this is the life of the returning hero. I am back in Pennsylvania with family and I have time for the first time in a long time to tend to a lot of details. It is time to make the background of my life stronger and more secure and more stable. Time to reinforce foundations and sow seeds for the future.

Practically speaking though it is time to unpack a bit further and go brush my teeth.

Then once again it can be time for e.

Clouds Rest

Sitting in the lobby of a Sheraton Hotel in Pleasanton, CA. I'm in route to the Oakland airport and back to Philadelphia to see family and rest some

My biggest, baddest, toughest wheelchair push ended without incident two nights ago. Funny how things go, It wasn't all that far. It wasn't all that stupendous of an elevation gain. It was certainly super complicated. It was not too well paved. It was the John Muir Trail runing up from Yosemite Valley proper to Little Yosemite Valley.

Actually I only went half way there. There was maybe 5 miles of paved road from Camp 4 to a place called Happy Isles Nature Center. This is the beginning of the Mist Trail which runs up the Merced River to Vernal Falls and on to Nevada Falls. The Mist Trail links to the John Muir trail. The John Muir Trail takes one to the camp ground at Little Yosemite Valley. It carries on beyond this to a granite dome called Clouds Rest.

A year ago I looked out from the wall of El Capitan toward a shallow but large granite dome for six nights and seven days. It looked so much simpler to climb than El cap. I told myself I'd try and give it a shot next year. How hard could it be? It certainly looked easy miles off in the distance. No vertical walls, no insanely ambitious goal here I imagined.

It sure got cold when I did the "bivvy" on the top switchback of the the first section of trail. I didn't know what exactly the protocoil was on bears so I ate my last three Cliff Bars soon after dark so that I couldn't loose them to animals during the night. What was I doing sleeping on the ground, without a tent or sleeping bag, all alone, no food or water left- but my teeth freshly brushed ...

Wednesday at 11 AM found me sat at Clarks Point taking in possibly the most spectacular sight I'd ever seen. Nevada Falls a mile or two up valley to the right- splashing down the granite wall. A giant called Liberty Cap to the left of this. Another called Mount Broderick to the left of that. Between the two but behind them is the massive Half Dome. My gosh ... it was worth the crazy effort of the 8 hour climb up the two miles of trail. It was worth the brash start without confirmed support. It was worth the lack of confidence I felt for being in so deep and so high up and so alone.

It will take some time to put this all in perspective. It will take some time to organise a more possibly successful pilgrimage to Clouds Rest. It would be more involved to get to Clouds Rest and safely back than even to climb El Cap. It would take a large support team. It would invlove at least a week of back country camping permits and bear cannisters.

I only went about a quater of the way there on this initial reconnaisance mission. At Clarks Point I needed to decide whether to atempt to continue toward Litte Yosemite where my supplies were or to return to the Valley floor and hopefully avoid another night of bivvy. I felt so small and disorganised and insecure and unsure. Team Us brought reinforcements at 3 Pm and more at 5 PM. I got to the Valley floor before dark. I got to the Valley floor safely. I got there with a lot of assistance from two strong men. I got there with a feeling of elation. Somehow this had been a magnificent adventure and a wonderful success.

Yeah Right

So it is 11:45 pm.
The window, the big window, by me is open now. It is more or less freezing cold. I'm trying to be a blogger but the cold is making me think about things that make me feel warm.

Beyond this and beyond her is now and here and Cloud's Rest and Half Dome and the back country permit and the bear cannister and all that. I've got just this next week in Yosemite to do my best and make it right and then it is back to Philly to do the same.

Right, so onward, outward, upward. Me-ward, warmth-ward, her-ward, us-ward, this-ward, now-ward ... !

Breakfast of Champions

So yesterday we topped out on the Zodiac. Breakfast? What ever fig newtons and power bars I was having with my water after sunrise and the first thousand pull ups. The haul bags came over the edge around 3PM, ending our ascent. This was followed by a maybe 4 hour piggy back ride back to the nearest parking lot on the Valley floor which was fairly difficult. That was followed by going to the meadow to get my wheel chair and then of course the journey back to camp for beers and chips and chickens, well chicken parts, bunches of them.

The day before at 12:18 PM we started up the Zodiac on El Cap. I had had a cheese horn, an apple horn, and black coffee for breakfast. Then we went to the El Cap meadow to prepare to have five guys carry me and a bunch others carry all our gear to the base of the Zodiac route. Was this maybe a mile of talus and Manzanita trees? It was probably 1000 feet of elevation gain. There were still 1800 feet of gain left to cover. Ammon McNeely started the lead. My brother Tim took it through the cold and dark.

The day before that was the day before the climb. For breakfast I had just black coffee. Mark Welman had shown in the morning to loan us the equipment I would use to pull myself up El Cap.With his help, I made an Excel spreadsheet listing the history of El Capitan disabled ascents. He invented the activity back in 1989.

I had oatmeal with my black coffee for breakfast the nextmost previous day before that one. I had it with cinnamon. It was awesome- I'd been meaning for at least a month to start eating oatmeal as part of a better nutrition regimen to help me get up hard things like Mauna Kea and El Capitan.

But so if you are still reading: Victory breakfast, the breakfast of the morning (well, like 11 AM or so) after having done a push up El cap. A push is a single effort. We were trying for a one day thing, 24 hours or less. Maybe it was 27 hours- not a failure though, just a different category. Still it was over 1700 pull ups. Well not real pull ups. Some were 3/4 pull ups. None of them require lowering down, just pulling up. But really we had just gone up El Cap. We did it between noon Monday and 3PM Tuesday, working through the night- the cold dark night. I sat there eating Cheerios and viamin D milk, cold milk- like so many mornings. So many safe warm mornings with a simple and soothingly nutritious meal. The funny thing was the bowl and spoon felt as if they were heavy. My muscles were just about trembling with the effort, as if I'd worked hard recently.

Trees and Rock & Stars at Night

It is 10:40 here in Yosemite Valley in California.

I am slowly figuring out how to work my new laptop and camera and software and all that stuff. Please forgive me for making excuses but I really thought I'd be a cooler more media savvy traveler and adventurer and blogger and all that neat stuff.

Pictures are coming but it is time to get back to my tent and settle down for the night.

I left Hawaii on Sunday and am in Yosemite now not just to gawk at trees and rock but also to actually climb some rock.

For now though it is time simply to go sit in the dark and look upward and think about things. Things like dimness and brightness and light... and the Milky Way. Things like curvature and straightness and strength... and the massive pines all around me. Things like quiet and slow and true and more massive and most massive... yet still smaller than the whole planet and stuff- the granite. Maybe the granite is like a middle man between the trees and the stars.

More later.

Update from Pahoa

I'm logging a report from the field.

Internet cafe in the Malawa Shopping Center in the town of Pahoa in the District of Pahoa.

Tonight Raul and Dan accompany me to dinner as a sort of closing note on the 40 hour trip up the big hill. Not sure where we are going and all that but fairly sure it will be relaxing and nourishing. There will be a few other members of the community sharing this time with us.

At the moment though I'm getting some emails out and pictures loaded and even a short web log bit. I'm drinking locally grown coffee and I'm halfway through my second large cup of carrot juice.

My hands were pretty sore Sunday and Monday but they are back to full go now. Monday I made it to Uncle Rober's Awa Club to sample this beverage, awa, made from the pounded root of the awa plant. It is an earthy taste and has a relaxing affect. We sat a long while there, near the former town of Kalapana, now covered by lava. I'm not certain but I think Uncle Robert's is the only business in Kalapana. The sign for Kalapana Street does now hang beneath the corrugated metal roof of the open air awa bar.

Wednesday I finally got my body into the ocean. I am somewhat drawn to the idea of giving up the mountain roads and becoming a surf monk. Please though, nobody tell the mountains I said this.

There has been some touristing the past few days

Made It !!

I made it to the top.
I even got back down safely.
A number of people, a large number, were very helpful in this effort and it would not have happened without this support.

I left Arnott's Lodge at 8AM on Friday. Dipped the wheels in the Ocean along Kalanianaole Street. Headed throuh Hilo's Old City section and up toward the Saddle Road. After many beeps and waves and other shows of kindness, I reached the Mauna Kea access road around 8:30PM. Dan, Raul and myself finally exited the clouds and started up JA Burns Way to the visitor Center. We saw the North Star low on the horizon. We watched Casseopia and the Pleiades rotate around the North Star.

I saw shooting stars. I watched Orion the Hunter rise sideways above the horizon and gain in dazzling grandeur as he continued upward- the whole time sitting kind of sideways.

After 18 hours I was at the Visitor Center and thinking so much about getting out of clammy wet clothes into dry stuff and getting a peanut butter and jelly bagel into my body.

There are 2 and a half minutes left of internet access at this terminal.

Slept in Dan's SUV passenger seat from 4 till 7. Park staff, Shane, was kind enough to get us coffee and we continued upward as did the sun, and also the clouds.

Topped at 11:45PM

Aloha Kakahiaka

Good morning.


It is 7:40 am.

Will be leaving Arnott's Lodge soon and dipping tires in salt water along the Hilo Bay and then heading down Kalanianaole Street to Kamehameha Avenue. Then left onto Wainuenue Ave. Then continue uphill on Kaumana Drive to the Saddle Road.

Mauka Side --Starting

Okay, start at 6am on Friday.

Out of Arnott's Lodge, 98 Apapane Road, 6am

Find some water at sea level, I've already got a spot scoped out, dip the tires.

Kalanianaole Street follows into Kamehameha Avenue.

That takes a left in Old City.

The go is up Waianuenue Avenue, past Hilo High School.

Then it is Kaumana Drive past Kaumana Caves to the Saddle Road.

Finally, plans are a bit rough after that except go to the access road and start up.

Good Morning.

Hardship in Hilo

Okay so I have 14 miniues till the time runs out on this dollar operated internet terminal.

Crikey... 13:13

drat 12:48

Okay- anyway, I had a nice little piece typed up but then the thing ran out before I hit the publish button and now I'm hating life, staying up later feeling like I need to go tend to body things minutes or more ago.

Come on Sean, this is Hawaii. Quit your complaining and tell everybody how sweet your life is. Tell them that 5% grade here feels about like how flat or downhill feels up there at 40 or so degrees latitude. Tell them that it only takes a quarter the liquid to roam Hawaii as it does to do Boulder's hills. Tell them there are banana trees. Tell them that Banyan trees are right up there with Sycamore trees for being the coolest trees there are.

Tell them you now have mayonaise and lettuce to go with your wheat bagels and sharp cheddar cheese. Tell them about raisins and dates and plums and peaches and nectarines and grapefruit juice and V-8 juice and 8 packs of Gatoraid and the giantly huge and possibly also colossal desire to rage (or really- just be) on Mauana Kea.

Tell them that things are going well.
Tell them you are very grateful for what you have been given.

Tell them also that you think it might be way better yet if they were here with you.

Be honest, go on, tell them these things.

Especially tell that one.

Nextward

The Autumn Equinox for 2006 occurs on September 23 at 4:03 Universal Time. Universal Time means Greenwich Mean Time. Presently I am in Mountain Daylight Time, so the Earth will be at the Equinox point this evening at 10:03. Likewise, if for instance you live in Maine, it will be just past midnight. Anyway, seasonal change is upon us. For many of us, the weather is altering and our surroundings differ as well.

But today their is a sort of symmetry. Maybe it is only symbolic. Dark and light are in balance just around now.


I am nearing the end of my stay in Colorado. August was ancient Eastern mountains with loads of broadleaf. The past two weeks have been near the Continental Divide- younger mountains and far more conifer than broadleaf. Next is not even continent. What sorts of trees I don't yet know.

I'll be between the great landmasses on a minor glitch where the planet's super heated interior has leaked out and piled up. Piled up so high that it has piled from the bottom of the ocean up to the water's surface and then another 2 and 3 fifths miles toward the sky.

Happy Equinox.

Hayohh

Check the pictures at http://kineticpics.blogspot.com/

Triple Tripping

Brainard Lake then Eldora then Mount Evans

Last Thursday I pushed the wheelchair from Boulder to Brainard Lake. First there was the early wake up to negotiate. Then there was Lee Hill to carry myself and a gallon of liquid over. Then I was somewhat tired and there was ten or twelve miles of Left Hand Canyon to sort. Then there was the road up to Ward which sits at 9200 feet. Then we have the steeper road out of ward up to the Peak to Peak Highway. Finally there was the not so steep five miles down Park road to Brainard Lake at 10300 feet.

In all maybe 30 miles and 5000 feet of elevation gain, plus another 1000 feet considering the downhill on the back side of Lee. Start time 6:50, finish ~4:20.

Rain started threatening about halfway up Left hand Canyon but never really hit. Support didn't show in Ward but Team Us member Vijay Viswanathan serendipitously appeared to save the day. The initial view of the Rocky Mountains surrounding Brainard Lake was transcendent. I left with a gallon of Brainard spring water as tourist treasure.

Last Saturday I pushed the wheelchair from Nederland to Eldora. First there was Vijay to situate with his hand cycle and his able-bodied roommate John in Vijay's wheelchair. Then the three of us headed maybe three miles down the highway to the turn off to Eldora Ski Resort. Then (and even I am already getting tired of this 'then' device) there was that big ole hill leading up to the ski slopes. Then there was more of the hill and more and more. Then there was the hill and a little snow. Then there was the hill and a lot of snow. Then there was the top of the hill and loads of bitter cold snow blowing straight sideways and then I started getting worried. Then a third of the way or so back down the hill John, whose able bodied physique had impeded his wheelchair pushing progress on the hill, showed in his four wheel drive and possibly saved my life.

I hadn't even a wind breaker to bring along. It wasn't really far we were going. It wasn't even that high up either although Nederland is 8300 feet up already. Vijay, in proper apparel but no gloves, made it all the way back home unassisted. His hand cycle is a lot quicker than my wheelchair, but still it was bitter weather. All this before 11 or so in the morning.

Last Sunday (which sounds weird because it is yesterday I am talking about) I pushed the wheelchair from the base of the Mount Evans Autoroad at Echo Lake to its top, along the highest paved road in North America. First I wasn't even sure I wanted to attempt this road that sits above 10000 feet as I was a bit unnerved by Saturday's sudden bad weather around and below 9000 feet. Then I finally decided to go ahead with it. Then we didn't get to the camp spot till 2 am. Then I decided not to get up at 4 am for early start in bitter cold and high wind.

Then it was after 6:30 and the wind had died down and the sun was rising and myself and my support man, Mark, got up and got started. Maybe the base is 10200 feet. Well, we got ready and just past 8 am we paid our dollar fifty each and started up the road for what turned out to be quite an adventure. One sign says the top of the road is 14 miles away. Another says the road to the top, above Summit Lake, is closed. Mark rode his bicycle in low gear and I pushed my chair and we started ticking off miles. Mountain goats and mountain sheep and mountains and mountains and more mountains. Reaching mile 9 meant we had reached Summit Lake at 12700 feet and would next decide whether or not to continue to the actual summit.

There is a rock hut at the lake and there was a wood fire inside tended by park staff. It was about 12:30 pm. We sat inside and planned things out. The weather was good and so was the forecast. We ate some and warmed up some and headed on up the hill. The wind blowing down the mountains and across Summit Lake was very cold. Heading on up it was bitter in the shade but manageable in the sun. Mile 12 passed. Mile 13 went by. We went on toward marker 14 and the top. Approaching mile marker 14 it was obvious that there were at least 5 more switch backs to go. The pace slowed continuously. Somewhere along the way we passed mile marker 14 and there were bunches yet of switch backs to go.

Finally the top of the road was beneath us. It was 3:30. We'd reached a paved parking lot at 14130 feet. Then I started wondering how my feet had fared. It was maybe zero if you allowed for wind chill. After not so long we started down. With the wind at my back I was braking with vigilance.Then we reached the first switchback. With the wind at my front I was pushing down hill. Things went on like this for miles. Strongest, coldest winds I've ever felt. Finally we were closing in on Summit Lake and that stone hut with the wood fire. Gee, but that really cold wind on my back as we headed up past Summit Lake was now very much more to deal with as we faced it, as I pushed down hill into it.

We reached the hut. Then I sat quite close to that fire for the next hour while Mark bicycled the next 9 miles to the base and got the car. I had time to eat and time to hydrate. I had time to worry about my toes and time to worry about Mark's safety after he left the hut.


Looking at the majestic mountains beyond Brainard Lake, beneath threatening cloud cover, it occurred to me this was the most epic wheelchair journey I'd ever done.

The little tiny Eldora run, only two hours up, well before noon. Headed down I was thinking not about epic but staying alive.

The big, bold Mount Evans run, ... what an epic!

Double Dipping or Dealing in Twos

I arrived in Boulder, Colorado on Sunday night. Yesterday, Tuesday, that was two days ago.

Plan number one was to push the wheelchair up Flagstaff Mountain Road. It has a solid supply of bicyclists in training. It has a strong supply of switch backs. It is 5.3 miles in length, maybe 10% grade. It starts about a mile or so above sea level.

Day one's workout was maybe 40 minutes commuting and warming up. Day one's hill was about 3 hours long.

So then it's on to day number two. Day two decided I should carry two spare quarts of liquid tied beneath the wheel chair frame. Day two was asking for two runs up Flagstaff. Run up number one cheaped me out on hill workout time, 2 and a half hours instead of 3- and that is with the weight of the extra liquid. Two, I meant -to- make matters worse, there was run number two. Stingy old run number two of Tuesday only gave me only a two hour hill, even though still the same hill.

In the words of the immortal and illustrious two winged ascent artist, Jonathan Livingston Seagull: Perfect speed is already being there.

In theory I need to head up Flagstaff Mountain Road four (that's two times two) more times and I will cut the hill ascent time down from three (that's two plus half of two) hours to approximately zero hours, zero minutes.

But then I'd miss out on the whole fun of the push, so two days after yesterday I'm going to try hill #2 here in hill land #2.