How to Ever Say It

I look to the world as it turns it back on me
I look to life as it laughs at me

And then I contemplate largeness and smallness
And wholeness and partness
And impossible and definite
And chaos and common
And attained and ungraspable

For a time I am still and quiet and without concern
Nothing is missing and beauty abounds

Still there are grant proposals unwritten and connections uncontacted
Applications unopened and pieces out of place

I have bags to unpack, things to move about, trash and trivia to discard
My bed is unmade and my teeth are unbrushed

Yet now I have had consolation
I have thought about e

e is simplicity and e is also paradox
e is a mathematical constant like pi
for me e is something else as well


So this is the life of the returning hero. I am back in Pennsylvania with family and I have time for the first time in a long time to tend to a lot of details. It is time to make the background of my life stronger and more secure and more stable. Time to reinforce foundations and sow seeds for the future.

Practically speaking though it is time to unpack a bit further and go brush my teeth.

Then once again it can be time for e.