Maybe Next Year

I'm in Boulder, Colorado. Been here since December 8.

Somehow I almost never make it to the library to do internet stuff. Somehow I shop for a laptop but don't yet commit to one. Somehow I have no cell phone yet. Somehow I have been reading some. Somehow I have written- except for blog stuff. Somehow I have drawn and made three dimensional models also. Somehow I need to get this all to the next level.

Somehow it is pretty temperate here in Boulder- just beneath the Flat Irons and the rest of the Foothills. Christmas day was t-shirt weather. The walk was excellent. Somehow I think I feel my most healthy and comfortable and strong when I am half or two thirds the way up a long hill. Maybe it is simply that discomfort feels normal in that context. Maybe the effort and the surroundings take me away from my doubts, distract me from my demons.

So maybe there is some "something" to hoping that I do, within the near future, get this portable computer and get online without to much hasssle. Or maybe I can somehow get around those obstacles of self which leave a person frustrated and uncertain.

I am basically okay, just a bit restless. The passage of another year is being marked quite soon. To anyone who might read this I say congratulations regarding effort so far. Best wishes regarding the next thing and it's next thing and the next after that.

Righting

Why write?
Why not write?

Another 7 days
Another 7 nights
Another day on top of that.

Here I am at the keyboard once again.

Not that it matters, nor that it doesn't- not even that it is wrong or right.

Back to the airport tomorrow. Back away from home.
What is home
and what is respect
and what are bonds
and what ever even is separation
and what could be together, intimate, not alone.

That last sentence isn't really a question but a statement of self assessment-
not conclusion just weighing,
observing,
looking at my me and how I place me amongst the others whom I hold dear.