How to Ever Say It

I look to the world as it turns it back on me
I look to life as it laughs at me

And then I contemplate largeness and smallness
And wholeness and partness
And impossible and definite
And chaos and common
And attained and ungraspable

For a time I am still and quiet and without concern
Nothing is missing and beauty abounds

Still there are grant proposals unwritten and connections uncontacted
Applications unopened and pieces out of place

I have bags to unpack, things to move about, trash and trivia to discard
My bed is unmade and my teeth are unbrushed

Yet now I have had consolation
I have thought about e

e is simplicity and e is also paradox
e is a mathematical constant like pi
for me e is something else as well


So this is the life of the returning hero. I am back in Pennsylvania with family and I have time for the first time in a long time to tend to a lot of details. It is time to make the background of my life stronger and more secure and more stable. Time to reinforce foundations and sow seeds for the future.

Practically speaking though it is time to unpack a bit further and go brush my teeth.

Then once again it can be time for e.

Clouds Rest

Sitting in the lobby of a Sheraton Hotel in Pleasanton, CA. I'm in route to the Oakland airport and back to Philadelphia to see family and rest some

My biggest, baddest, toughest wheelchair push ended without incident two nights ago. Funny how things go, It wasn't all that far. It wasn't all that stupendous of an elevation gain. It was certainly super complicated. It was not too well paved. It was the John Muir Trail runing up from Yosemite Valley proper to Little Yosemite Valley.

Actually I only went half way there. There was maybe 5 miles of paved road from Camp 4 to a place called Happy Isles Nature Center. This is the beginning of the Mist Trail which runs up the Merced River to Vernal Falls and on to Nevada Falls. The Mist Trail links to the John Muir trail. The John Muir Trail takes one to the camp ground at Little Yosemite Valley. It carries on beyond this to a granite dome called Clouds Rest.

A year ago I looked out from the wall of El Capitan toward a shallow but large granite dome for six nights and seven days. It looked so much simpler to climb than El cap. I told myself I'd try and give it a shot next year. How hard could it be? It certainly looked easy miles off in the distance. No vertical walls, no insanely ambitious goal here I imagined.

It sure got cold when I did the "bivvy" on the top switchback of the the first section of trail. I didn't know what exactly the protocoil was on bears so I ate my last three Cliff Bars soon after dark so that I couldn't loose them to animals during the night. What was I doing sleeping on the ground, without a tent or sleeping bag, all alone, no food or water left- but my teeth freshly brushed ...

Wednesday at 11 AM found me sat at Clarks Point taking in possibly the most spectacular sight I'd ever seen. Nevada Falls a mile or two up valley to the right- splashing down the granite wall. A giant called Liberty Cap to the left of this. Another called Mount Broderick to the left of that. Between the two but behind them is the massive Half Dome. My gosh ... it was worth the crazy effort of the 8 hour climb up the two miles of trail. It was worth the brash start without confirmed support. It was worth the lack of confidence I felt for being in so deep and so high up and so alone.

It will take some time to put this all in perspective. It will take some time to organise a more possibly successful pilgrimage to Clouds Rest. It would be more involved to get to Clouds Rest and safely back than even to climb El Cap. It would take a large support team. It would invlove at least a week of back country camping permits and bear cannisters.

I only went about a quater of the way there on this initial reconnaisance mission. At Clarks Point I needed to decide whether to atempt to continue toward Litte Yosemite where my supplies were or to return to the Valley floor and hopefully avoid another night of bivvy. I felt so small and disorganised and insecure and unsure. Team Us brought reinforcements at 3 Pm and more at 5 PM. I got to the Valley floor before dark. I got to the Valley floor safely. I got there with a lot of assistance from two strong men. I got there with a feeling of elation. Somehow this had been a magnificent adventure and a wonderful success.

Yeah Right

So it is 11:45 pm.
The window, the big window, by me is open now. It is more or less freezing cold. I'm trying to be a blogger but the cold is making me think about things that make me feel warm.

Beyond this and beyond her is now and here and Cloud's Rest and Half Dome and the back country permit and the bear cannister and all that. I've got just this next week in Yosemite to do my best and make it right and then it is back to Philly to do the same.

Right, so onward, outward, upward. Me-ward, warmth-ward, her-ward, us-ward, this-ward, now-ward ... !

Breakfast of Champions

So yesterday we topped out on the Zodiac. Breakfast? What ever fig newtons and power bars I was having with my water after sunrise and the first thousand pull ups. The haul bags came over the edge around 3PM, ending our ascent. This was followed by a maybe 4 hour piggy back ride back to the nearest parking lot on the Valley floor which was fairly difficult. That was followed by going to the meadow to get my wheel chair and then of course the journey back to camp for beers and chips and chickens, well chicken parts, bunches of them.

The day before at 12:18 PM we started up the Zodiac on El Cap. I had had a cheese horn, an apple horn, and black coffee for breakfast. Then we went to the El Cap meadow to prepare to have five guys carry me and a bunch others carry all our gear to the base of the Zodiac route. Was this maybe a mile of talus and Manzanita trees? It was probably 1000 feet of elevation gain. There were still 1800 feet of gain left to cover. Ammon McNeely started the lead. My brother Tim took it through the cold and dark.

The day before that was the day before the climb. For breakfast I had just black coffee. Mark Welman had shown in the morning to loan us the equipment I would use to pull myself up El Cap.With his help, I made an Excel spreadsheet listing the history of El Capitan disabled ascents. He invented the activity back in 1989.

I had oatmeal with my black coffee for breakfast the nextmost previous day before that one. I had it with cinnamon. It was awesome- I'd been meaning for at least a month to start eating oatmeal as part of a better nutrition regimen to help me get up hard things like Mauna Kea and El Capitan.

But so if you are still reading: Victory breakfast, the breakfast of the morning (well, like 11 AM or so) after having done a push up El cap. A push is a single effort. We were trying for a one day thing, 24 hours or less. Maybe it was 27 hours- not a failure though, just a different category. Still it was over 1700 pull ups. Well not real pull ups. Some were 3/4 pull ups. None of them require lowering down, just pulling up. But really we had just gone up El Cap. We did it between noon Monday and 3PM Tuesday, working through the night- the cold dark night. I sat there eating Cheerios and viamin D milk, cold milk- like so many mornings. So many safe warm mornings with a simple and soothingly nutritious meal. The funny thing was the bowl and spoon felt as if they were heavy. My muscles were just about trembling with the effort, as if I'd worked hard recently.

Trees and Rock & Stars at Night

It is 10:40 here in Yosemite Valley in California.

I am slowly figuring out how to work my new laptop and camera and software and all that stuff. Please forgive me for making excuses but I really thought I'd be a cooler more media savvy traveler and adventurer and blogger and all that neat stuff.

Pictures are coming but it is time to get back to my tent and settle down for the night.

I left Hawaii on Sunday and am in Yosemite now not just to gawk at trees and rock but also to actually climb some rock.

For now though it is time simply to go sit in the dark and look upward and think about things. Things like dimness and brightness and light... and the Milky Way. Things like curvature and straightness and strength... and the massive pines all around me. Things like quiet and slow and true and more massive and most massive... yet still smaller than the whole planet and stuff- the granite. Maybe the granite is like a middle man between the trees and the stars.

More later.

Update from Pahoa

I'm logging a report from the field.

Internet cafe in the Malawa Shopping Center in the town of Pahoa in the District of Pahoa.

Tonight Raul and Dan accompany me to dinner as a sort of closing note on the 40 hour trip up the big hill. Not sure where we are going and all that but fairly sure it will be relaxing and nourishing. There will be a few other members of the community sharing this time with us.

At the moment though I'm getting some emails out and pictures loaded and even a short web log bit. I'm drinking locally grown coffee and I'm halfway through my second large cup of carrot juice.

My hands were pretty sore Sunday and Monday but they are back to full go now. Monday I made it to Uncle Rober's Awa Club to sample this beverage, awa, made from the pounded root of the awa plant. It is an earthy taste and has a relaxing affect. We sat a long while there, near the former town of Kalapana, now covered by lava. I'm not certain but I think Uncle Robert's is the only business in Kalapana. The sign for Kalapana Street does now hang beneath the corrugated metal roof of the open air awa bar.

Wednesday I finally got my body into the ocean. I am somewhat drawn to the idea of giving up the mountain roads and becoming a surf monk. Please though, nobody tell the mountains I said this.

There has been some touristing the past few days

Made It !!

I made it to the top.
I even got back down safely.
A number of people, a large number, were very helpful in this effort and it would not have happened without this support.

I left Arnott's Lodge at 8AM on Friday. Dipped the wheels in the Ocean along Kalanianaole Street. Headed throuh Hilo's Old City section and up toward the Saddle Road. After many beeps and waves and other shows of kindness, I reached the Mauna Kea access road around 8:30PM. Dan, Raul and myself finally exited the clouds and started up JA Burns Way to the visitor Center. We saw the North Star low on the horizon. We watched Casseopia and the Pleiades rotate around the North Star.

I saw shooting stars. I watched Orion the Hunter rise sideways above the horizon and gain in dazzling grandeur as he continued upward- the whole time sitting kind of sideways.

After 18 hours I was at the Visitor Center and thinking so much about getting out of clammy wet clothes into dry stuff and getting a peanut butter and jelly bagel into my body.

There are 2 and a half minutes left of internet access at this terminal.

Slept in Dan's SUV passenger seat from 4 till 7. Park staff, Shane, was kind enough to get us coffee and we continued upward as did the sun, and also the clouds.

Topped at 11:45PM